We’re coming up to the mark . . .

. . . and I’m so far behind, I’ll be lucky to hear the starter’s gun šŸ˜¦

I’ve spent this last week fighting off cluster migraines, and dead to the world in between. I’m not in a nice place at the moment, and I’ve now got 2.5 weeks behind in my course work šŸ˜¦

As I’ve got a TMA due on the 16th, at noon, as you may imagine, I’m just not going to make it, so I’ve emailed my tutor to ask for a 2 week extension – something I didn’t want to do, as our next TMA, due on 5th April, is a double TMA, requiring 3,500 words!

I’m managing around 30-40 minutes a day on my OU work at the moment, and most of that is taken up with re-reading what I’ve already done before as, the minute as I fall asleep again, everything I’ve read or done goes straight out of my head, once more šŸ˜¦

I’ve been on the point of chucking it all in so often over the last few weeks, and I feel as if I were on a roundabout that’s spinning so fast, I’m having to hold on for grim death, or just go flying up into oblivion. I absolutely loathe the fact that this is my final course, and that I’m hating every second of it!

I guess that’s my own fault, really, as I should have bailed out as soon as my health started to nose-dive – but, I guess, the fact that I can’t let up on myself, is one of the reason’s that my health has got so bad in the first place!

If there’s one thingĀ I’veĀ discovered recently, it’s that those with M.E./CFS aren’t, as the press like to portray them, no-hopers, or lazy bums, but they are people who drive themselves the hardest. I know that half of my health problems were brought on because I kept pushing myself when I should have been resting, but it has been the hardest lesson of all for me to have to give up the driving seat, and go sit in the back and nap a while :~/

And in the meantime, my poor hubby has had to take up the slack (I’m really mixing my metaphors here, aren’t I? But I just don’t care!), and I’m having to face up to the fact thatĀ IĀ just can’t do it all on my own any more šŸ˜¦

I guess I’ll have to go back to a time when I could cheerfully be the tortoise, instead of always trying to be the hare. Maybe that way, I might come in slowly, but I will succeed in getting there in the end!

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Filed under Disability Issues, Learning

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