Category Archives: Self-interest

To Do, or Not to Do? That Really IS the Question. . .

As someone wo suffers with 2 blood disorders – ITP, or ImmuneThrombocytopenic Purpura – which causes a thinning of the blood, & APS, or Antiphospholipid Syndrome – which can cause blood clots. [Yes, I know – they should be cancelling each other out, shoudn’t they?] – I begin to wonder whether I should believe Johnson & co about this.

I haven’t had my vaccine yet due, in part, to my strong – and very conflicted – feelings about it, given that there are still side-effects appearing and, especially, since I read in the news today, from reputable newspapers, that there are now other countries pausing the vaccine, due to people suffering with blood clots, with some deaths, too.

On the one hand, I have my own, extremely lovely, and genuinely helpful, Blood Nurse who, I presume, is getting her information from the NHS site, or even the government site, and is assuring me that the vaccine is safe for me to take – although, once again, I don’t know if she has seen, today, that some of the symptoms that have appeared recently, are the same as the APS that I already have :/

On the other hand, we have other countries, who have paused the vaccine until they can investigate further as to it’s safety.

Who should I believe?

A government who have shown time, and time again, that they don’t give a damn about the disabled, and don’t care how many of us die? A government who have lied, delayed, and generally have been aiming for Herd Immunity, from the very beginning of this crises, rather than putting a stop to travel immediately that the news broke about the Virus – and have done everything they can, before this happened, and since, to make life hell for those of us, who are disabled?

Or other Countries, who seem to care about how many of their citizens may be affected by the side-effects of the vaccine, to the point of pausing it until they find out the truth?

People keep telling me that the risk is less than if I were to catch the virus – and I guess they have a point. But I’ve been sheltering for years now, even before the virus came calling and, to those who compile the statistics, it might be crazy for me not to have the vaccine but, to me, it might mean an even bigger chance of losing my life, to have the vaccine, before more is known!

My life is crap most of the time – but it’s still the ONLY life I have, when all’s said and done!

And so, I sit here, going from one decision to the other, not knowing for certain what might be my best choice, for my own self preservation! :/

Addendum: 27/01/2023:

Someone recently read this post, and I was notified – and that’s when I realised I needed to write what happened after this:

I had the first jab, of Astrazeneca, on 7/4/21, with no problems. Then I was offered the second jab, which was when so many articles in newspapers, and on the internet, were warning about problems with the astrazenica jab, having bad side effects.

Once again, I spoke to everyone I could think of, with medical knowledge, unsure whether to risk the second jab but, with almost everyone pointing out that my first jab had been fine, I finally decided to go ahead with it – I was given the second jab, of Astrazeneca again, on 11/6/21.

Three days after having the jab, I woke up with the left side of my head, face, neck, and shoulder, being covered in a rash – a painful, extremely itchy, rash.

My daughter bought me some calamine lotion, which eased it a little but, the following day, I woke up, and found that same rash had turned into large, and angry blisters!

I phoned the Surgery and, after a long discussion with the Doctor, it was diagnosed as Shingles.

As someone who saw nobody but my daughter & her partner – who were both always very careful to keep up PPE measures around me, I spoke again to my Doctor who, on being told this, & that I’d just had my jab, came to the conclusion that the jab had affected my body, by triggering the Shingles virus!

So much for it being safe for me!

What followed was six MONTHS of my health deteriorating, with the Shingles blisters taking at least eight weeks to dry up, and with me being left scarred for life.

It also triggered a downturn with all my other health problems which, as they are almost all immune-deficiently based, meant that I was bedridden, to the point that I needed help to do everything – for months!

The scarring caused by the Shingles,was so bad that, even now, so long past it easing up, I’m left with scars on my face and neck, where the Shingles took so long to heal, and which damaged nerve endings, that have left multiple points on my face and head numb!

I recently had a phone call from the District Nurses, offering me a booster Covid Jab, which I very quickly turned down.

It seems my own efforts to stay safe from Covid, and other viruses around right now, are a lot safer, than playing roulette with a jab that has still not been tested for long enough, to be able to warn people of its many, and varied, side effects!

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